Love

you know I hear sometimes that I don't post enough about my family i.e. dallen, kate, chad. and its not that I don't love them. But I just post what is ever in my head at the moment. so I'm sorry family. I love you. today's post will now be dedicated to my main homey... Chad.


I love Chad for many reasons but the main reason I love Chad is because he's the only person in this whole world that I can 100% be me for 100% of the time. You think I'm random and say crazy things here. Chad gets it all the time and I never have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. Its like coming home just being with him. and yes We fight and we say rude things (well I shouldn't say we... I say rude things) (Okay I'll stop listing all the bad stuff I do) But when it comes down to it. I love being with him.
Thanks honey for loving me just the way I am.

oh and what do you think about a perm?

Hair Cut Poll

#1 Do you think I should continue to grow my hair out?

#2 If I cut it should I get a trim, shorter, super short

#3 What color should I go with? Dark Brown, Keep the Red (look to family pic on left) or go light brown with high lights?

COVER UP FROM MY CHIN DOWN TO COVER UP THE MULLET LOOK!

so sad :(

I thought I'd start a new tradition over here at AdventureinAtlantaGa. (yes that is a link back to me)


I thought once a month at any random time I'd post an embarrsing moment from the life of me. This one though I have to warn you although is quite embarrsing for me will probably make most of you cry. Really. if you don't cry you might need to go see your bishop because clearly you have no soul and the spirit no longer resides in you. Now I know this isn't a funny post and I don't know why I'm sharing it but I started thinking about jr high because I recently found some old jr high friends and this is kindof like my only journal... and I rarely journal stuff like this... well anyway... here you go.

Some of you may know I had cancer when I was a kid. for those who didn't know - guess what I had cancer when I was a kid... I don't talk about it much (unless people ask me questions and then I start talking and get all dramatic and tell all the juicy gory details)

I pretty much didn't go to 7th and 8th grade. In fact in 7th grade before we found it was cancer (I had been staying at home so much because I was sick) The principal called one morning and I was afraid to get my mom so I pretended I was her (I think I tried to make my voice lower)

Yes this is mr. so and so is Mrs. Taylor there?
oh crap
This is her.
I'm Shellie's principal here at Midway Middle School. We are quite concerned with the amount of school she's missed.
Oh yes she's been really sick. We think she has a goiter.

Well it wasn't a goiter :)


At the end of 8th grade I started going back to school at Rigby Jr High. One week was Spirit Week. Where each day had a different theme like Wear your clothes backwards or Wear Maroon and Gold. Then there was "Crazy Hair Day" Which um I didn't have. and I didn't have a wig ... I just used bandanas and hats(keepin it real yo) . But today was the day... I was going to school bald and beautiful! But I still wanted to be crazy so I decided to paint my head yellow and red (the closest we had to maroon and gold) By myself I painted my head Yellow. And then while carefully looking in the mirror I painted "RJH #1" on one side and "RJH Rules!" On the other side in red.

I went to school very excited to show off my cutely painted head but as soon as I entered those doors and saw all those kids I started feeling really dumb. As I walked down towards the lockers some kids noticed, some kids didn't, some kids kind of pointed, and some kids just stared. But then I heard a group of boys whispering "What is that written on her head?" "I don't know" I hurry and went into the bathroom... and it looked fine to me "RJH #1" on one side "RJH Rules!" on the other. Then I went to class and and saw my friend Nikki and asked her if my head looked dumb... and she was like "no its fine... well except why did you write that it makes no sense" I was like what I wrote "RJH #1" and she was like "no you didn't... it's that but backwards." I guess I didn't realize that if you paint something in the mirror you have to do it the opposite. Man I felt so embarressed. I didn't even bring a bandana to cover it up. And I didn't want to wash it off because then I'd be really BALD. So for the rest of the day I just kept to myself... oh and avoided the boys who called me "chemo"



How sad.

My Martha Stewart Soul is dead.

I realized today that any Martha Stewart I thought I still had in me is dead. Because of this conversation with Dallen.

"Hey Dallen we need to get that birthday present over to Isabella's today"

"Okay"

"We'll need to wrap it"

Dallen who is standing by the sink grabs a target bag out for me.
"Here mom"


Yep around here we wrap presents in the bag they came in. But I didn't think we did it that much that now our 5 year old think thats how its done! That this is how people around the world present gifts from the heart to the ones they love. I'm such a turd. I'm sorry to have let you down mom... you at least had it together enough to wrap our presents in the funnies.
But it is true that at Christmas time Chad's presents to me and my presents to him were in Target bags. (But to his credit he did put a couch pillow over top the bags on the floor so that I had to first pick the pillow up and then untie the target bags) (And to my credit I did triple knot his bags... added to the suspense!!!)

Big Grizzley Turkish Dude

Britta was wondering what the Turkish dude at El Cheapo looked like. This is pretty much on the money...

You know what I wish

That somehow there was a magic screen where we could see everything that people write to us in a comment and then delete because they get self consicous and think its dumb.

Because this is what I usually do when I visit others blogs.

Read post. Laugh at something. Go to comment section to make a comment. Leave a comment like this

"that was effing funny. I rolled around on the floor and had to put myself in timout for being so loud. then I had to go clean myself up a little because I peed my pants."

then I read what I wrote and realize that this comment is for someone who I don't know very well yet and they don't have any clue of how crazy I am. (in other words They have not yet fallen in love with my quirky self and still have no idea that I'm the shiz) So then I delete comment and write something like this...

"lol! Have a great day"


So that's why I want that feature (to see what others write before they delete) because hey if I'm doing it... others have to be doing it to...

Right?

El Cheapo

Lisa and I almost got murdered. Honestly everyone should count their blessings that we are still alive. On the way out of Savannah (I think our GPS went evil, came alive, and tried to kill us by taking us to clearly Savannah's Crack Capital) we stopped by a gas station. Now pulling in I didn't really see anything unusual... well yeah the name was "El Cheapo" and the store itself was made entirely of cinderblocks with bars on the windows.... but me being my typical naive trusting self didn't really catch that.

I got out of the car and went to insert my credit card at the pump. Leaving my sister in law and unborn babe "safely" in the car. But there wasn't a credit card pay thing. There was a big sticker that said "Pay Before Pumping" So I would have to go in (we should have left right then.)

I walked in and to my left were the cash registers and employees. The cash register area was surronded by a thick bullet proof glass all around. Behind the glass were two HUGE Turkish dudes. Like as big as grizzley bears.
On the glass were approx 50+ pictures of them, them & their friends, them & their kids, ALL holding machine guns, oozies, and rocket launchers. They were kissing the guns, aiming them, shaking them above their heads. It was THE FREAKEST SCARIEST THING I EVER SAW. Next to the pictures was a sign that read "Nothing In this store is worth dying for" yikes

While I was standing there this big dude came in. And his eyes were dead. Like he was on crack. How do I know this? Because as he came in I made eye contact with him and smiled and said "Hey!" He just stared me down with murder in his eyes and I almost had a Freaking Heart Attack! Honestly there was no life in his eyes! It was very scary.




So the guy behind the counter was like "What do you need lady"

"uh some gas"

"how much"

"i...don't...know..."

"what are you using to pay"

"I can either pay with Master Card or Visa" I then proceded to open my wallet and give everyone a show of its contents. smart one shellie

"okay I'll put the pump on"


I went out and saw Lisa still sitting safely in the car. While I'm pumping gas I notice big thug dude come out to his car right next to us and rummage through his trunk. I was for sure he was getting some sort of weapon. I hurry and stopped pumping and went back inside to pay. As I was walking in I almost ran into another dude and he knocked over a fan.
Lets just say he was a little pissed.

Then I waited in line to pay and when I got somewhat near the front the big Turkish dude I think was trying to get us out of there so he was like

"Come here I'll take care of you"

so I handed him my credit card and for some reason also pulled out my drivers lisence and held it up next to my face and smiled real big. (I guess I was hoping that my funny sweet side was showing through... maybe that would humanize me and make me less killable.)

I got out of there went to the car where lisa unlocked the door right as I touched the handle and relocked it as soon as I got in. We then peeled out and looked at each other like
"What in the hell was I thinking" -me
"What in the hell was Shellie thinking" -Lisa

Matt Damon's Younger and Hotter Twin UPDATE

I don't know if I continue on with typing in "tour mode" its really hard referring to myself in 3rd person. Plus I'm sure its pretty annoying and not at all as funny as I think it is.


On with the Matt Damon Story...

This is Matt Damon-





He's hot. He has a great body. He's really nice. He has a great smile. He can charm the socks off a snake.

Now times all that by 1000 and you get the guy we met at a hippy store. We went in after the parallel parking incident so I could go to the bathroom and Lisa could think about maybe buying some Mauckasomething slippersockshoemoccasin things. He was standing at the cash register in all his glory. It was like a ray of sunshine was beaming down on him.

So I bought some incense so I could prolong our meeting and when we got up there I asked him if anyone ever told him he looked like Matt Damon. And he smiled Matt Damon's smile and said "Yeah and that works for me"

Anyway we went to the next store and I was like "Lisa lets go back and ask if we can take his picture so that we can post it on our blogs" and she was like "I'll give you my camera if you want to" and at first I thought she meant like she'd actually give me her camera for keeps to be so brave. but then I realized she just meant "you're crazy and there's no way I'd go back and do that.. but you are crazy... so if you want to take a picture of him I'll give you the camera and you can do it yourself" But I couldn't do it.

So you are hereby required as reader of this blog that if any of you are in Savannah you have to go see him... you will find him in a little hippy shop on the same street the Gap is on. (I have no idea what the street is called.) Deal?


UPDATE This is from Lisa's comment that does add much to the story! Ok, you forgot two vital parts of the story. The first was when he showed you how to turn the lights on in the bathroom and he made a witty comment. (He said You're going to kick yourself when you see where the light switch is) Yes I know that's not very witty... but coming from him it was... swooon!
The second was when he said "yeah and that works for me" and your reply was "yeah, he's really hot!" You got a good smile out of him with that one. (it was the most amazing smile... the whitest straightest teeth! swooon!) And they were muckalucks that I was tempted to buy, but Pseudo-Matt talked me out of them. (he did say they were very popular with high schoolers lisa!)

All Aboard!

Good Morning Ya'll! Come ye fine gentile women and gents aboard Olde Savannah Trolley Tour. My name is Shellie and I'll be your driver and tour guide. We'll be touring one of the most beautiful cities of the south "Savannah". Also you'll be delighted to learn the history of the famous 2008 visit by our favorite patrons of the city Lisa and Shellie.



**Now how many of you are Nascar Fans? Come on ya'll raise your hands! Okay it looks like we have one fan. Do you know what Nascar stands for?
Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks! Ha Ha Ha! Oh stop being a such a tough crowd.
**Actual Joke told by our driver on our tour of Savannah

Here on our left you will see the Parking that is available in Savannah. Savannah is a very old city dating back to the 1700's. Back then people were midgies and didn't need very much room to move around so the streets are very narrow. Which only allows either no parking or parallel parking. So back on March 31st 2008 Shellie and Lisa drove around Savannah's streets looking for a parking space for about 15 minutes. Finally they saw one that looked pretty decent. And by decent we are talking enough space that a tank could park in. With about 15 cars behind her Shellie attempts to parallel park. She would back in and pull forward back into the street so many times that Lisa finally got out of the car to direct her into the spot. This is what should have happened:







This is an example of what it looked like:


They hurry and got out of the car and headed into the nearest store. After returning from shopping they tried to pull out once again into the street. Lisa once again (bless her heart) tried to direct Shellie into pulling into the street. Which due to the fact there was tons of room in front of her Shellie could have accomplished it in one simple move by pulling forward while turning her car to the left. Once again she proceded to pull into the street, get scared when she noticed a car coming, reverse back into her space, pull back into the street, get scared and reverse again. Until finally a lady parked in a handicap spot in front of her pulled into the street allowing enough room for Shellie to finally pull out safely.

*Interesting Fact--- For the rest of the trip Shellie almost hypervenilated even thinking about where they would park the car.


Now we will all stop for a potty break. Next on our tour we will visit the site where Lisa and Shellie fell in love with Matt Damon's younger and hotter twin.