Chapter 2

So I'm going to start writing a book its going to be called

Klassy Kids get Kancer

JK

I really hate when things are spelled lame like that.

like

Qwik Stop

or

Kute Kutz


I mean really? Like do you really think that spelling it different is going to bring value to your business, and make you stand out and be memorable? Really?


But for real maybe I should write a book. But I'd have to get an illustrator. So Jessie B. are you cool with that? I'll give you like 10 bucks.

So with out further ado... here's chapter Two.

Eyeballs keep falling out of my Head

One day I started a chemo treatment. I have no idea what in the world it was called. but it did have this symbol on every bag.







I remember it was so strong (I think they scraped off some scum from a pond at Cherynoble for it) that they had to diffuse it over I think a week? For that one round. Because if not I'd be swiss cheese and whistle when I walk.

One of the side effects was that it would burn your eyeballs, make them shrivel up and fall out of your head.
The only cure... a special eye drop (that also kinda burned!!!) that had to be placed every 2 hrs. on the dot.

So during the day... for a week... every 2 hrs my nurse would come in. This particular nurse I'll never forget. Her name was Paige and she was a RAUNCH. Seriously. I think she hated me and I pretty much hated her. That's kinda weird to hear I bet. I mean people who are in the Nursing field are usually really loving caring people... especially if you are a pediatric nurse... who are working with termial kids. I wish I had enough guts back then to say to her
"Don't Hate, Appreciate" or something like that. I really don't know what her deal was... but she always gave me the dirtiest looks.

So anyway... every 2 hrs I'd be sitting there with my head tilted back, eyes open, she'd walk in, she drip the drops in, she'd walk out. we wouldn't even talk to each other most times.

Well one day she wasn't there. Come to find out she had traded shifts with the night nurse. Which really sucked to find out because nights were really hard to go through during these specific chemo rounds...

I'd get to sleep only to be woken up every 2 hrs to put the drops in so I wouldn't be blind, then it would burn and make me want to scratch my eyes out, and then I'd have to lie there and wait for the burning to go away... and try to fall back asleep... only to be woken up again!

My night nurses were always cool. One was a lady whose name I don't remember but she loved Labrador dogs. She had lab coffee mugs, lab watch, lab scrubs, lab calander (but oddly she didn't even own a lab!) (jk she did I think 3 of them)
Well whenever she woke me up she'd be all sweet about it...
"Shellie honey... wake up..." and she rub my arms or my bald head until I gently arose.

So when I found out Paige was working that shift I was like Oh man! tonight is going to suck hard core. because I knew there wasn't going to be any "shellie honey wake up" it was going to be "Shellie! its time for your drops" or something like that. But then almost immediatly a light bulb went off...

I knew the perfect way to get even.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. before she started her shift. I laid in bed with the covers pulled over me for 2 hrs.

waiting

waiting

waiting


Then I heard the door open.

I could sense light from the hallway coming in but other than that it was pitch black.

I could hear her coming closer and then she was unscrewing the top off the eyedrops and placing it on the side table.

Right when she was about to lift the blankets back

I sprung up and yelled
"Aaaahhhhhh" like right in her face.

she jumped and screamed and ran out of the room.

and then I laid there so happy... I couldn't even laugh or anything. Seriously one of the proudest moments of my life.

and she never came back in for the rest of the night to give me my eyedrops. its a miracle they didn't shrivel up and fall out of my head :)