Just call DCFS... or whatever department the Church has to take away children who's mom's are dumb

you know what award I really should get

"Shizziest mother in the world"

for real.

so yesterday Dallen was assigned to give the spotlight in Primary. He was to bring 5 things to show what he likes and also something to show his favorite "book of mormon" hero.

So as we were running out the door I was like Barack Obama! ... Dallen has spotlight today!!! So I was like "Dallen go as fast as you can and grab 5 things that are your favorite things and show who you are."

Okay so I'm hoping he'd pick these kind of things a basketball to show that he likes sports, a book cause he likes to read, a favorite toy, a picture of his family, and maybe some art that he did at school to show how He LOVES school.

This is what he brings down.
Optimus Prime
Transformer Book
Optimus Prime Webkinz
Bumblebee
Barricade

and I was like Freak now everyone will just thinks he's obsessed with Transformers!!! which he is. but I don't want people to know that. they've got to know that I'm raising my kid to be well rounded in all areas. So I'm like "Dallen you can't bring Barricade and Bumblebee... you have to show other things too"

Seriously we are running out the door. So I grab a mac and cheese box that chad had made for the kids for lunch.

Then I run around to try to find his Book of Mormon story book that he loves so he can show his favorite book of mormon hero. I can't find it. we are going to be late!

I open my Primary manual... and there it sits... in a plastic sleeve. A picture of the savior blessing the nephite children.

Perfect!

Sitting in the car... I pick up the mac and cheese box.

See this Dallen this is one of your favorite food remember? (it really is)

So you can say "I love mac and cheese"

"See this picture Dallen this is a picture of the savior blessing the nephite children. Isn't this a cool picture." Show it to him.

"You can tell the kids that you love that Jesus blessed the nephite children k?"


Get to chuch...

I'm conducting Primary... I introduce Dallen as the spot light

My name is Dallen
I am 5
I like my frog
his name is optimus prime
I like my transformer book
I like brandon's toy (the big optimus prime he borrowed from our neighbor)
then I pull out the mac and cheese box
I like spiderman mac and cheese... its empty

okay little man we're almost there.

I pull out the picture
he looks at it...

he stands there...


"Dallen can you tell everyone about this picture?"

"Whats this picture about mommy?"

I look out to all the kids and teachers and smile...

"you know who it is... who is this?"
"Jesus"

"Yes!... and what is jesus doing?"

"I don't know. whats he doing mom?" oh kid you're killing me here.

"he's blessing the nephite children"

"oh!...he's blessing the nephite children"


So then I have him go sit down. my face is beet red. please take me from this misery. may a ligtening bolt strike me now.

I want to say He does have a favorite book of mormon story... he has several in fact. he loves when ammon chops off the dudes arms to protect the sheep, when Captain Moroni raises the flag of liberty (Dallen loves to give a thumbs up and say "good job moroni" and he loves the part when the antinephilehi's bury their weapons. We just couldn't find his book!

P.S. i am trying to start a new thing here... Barack Obama as an alternitve curse word... just go with it

P.S.S I really don't think I'm the shizziest mom in the world guys. I was just trying to be funny. So don't worry about trying to make me feel better :) oh chad could you bring home a dozen krispy kremes though?